Top 5 Reasons Why I Don't Want To Go To Work Today

1. It's cold out.

2. I'd rather be at home, lying on the couch, being unproductive.

3. It's Monday and Monday's are never any fun at work.

4. I'm hoping someone anonymous (like Johnny Depp) will send me flowers today, so if I'm at work... well, you guessed it, I would miss the flower delivery.

5. Drinking in the middle of the day goes over WAY better at home than at work. (Trust me on that one.)