At least they gave out free champagne before the show...

There's nothing like getting on the train after a long night of uninspiring theater, only to realize that you are headed in the wrong direction...This is what happened to me last night. And I should have known! I should have known...because as soon as I stepped on the train, I had this sneaking suspicion that something wasn't right; and sure enough, that was the case. So I got out at the next stop (Clark & Division) and luckily, just had to walk across the platform to wait for the northbound train. (Wait being the operative word in that sentence.) And as I was waiting, I realized that it was just me and this very sketchy looking guy who was beginning to meander in my direction, which instantly made me think, Is this guy going to mug me? And as he got closer, I started thinking about what was in my purse that I wouldn't mind this guy taking...My pen: yours. My new pack of Trident spearmint gum: yours again. My lip balm: not my Kiehl's so take it. My Steppenwolf program: Oh golly, I might die without that!

But my keys? And my phone? And my Driver's license?!! Now those, I was not going to be flexible on and I had every intention of telling him so. But, lucky for him, he never even got within 5 feet of me, so he was spared; spared of my maybe-I-know-Karate-and-maybe-I-don't-no nonsense demeanor. Something I am always happy to spare anyone of.