3 Stories
1. Last night I ordered some food from Leona's. When it arrived, I was in the back washing my hands and I heard Cory yell, Oh your eggroll looks good! My...eggroll? I hadn't ordered an eggroll. In fact I don't think Leona's even sells eggrolls. So, I dash into the living room and check out the scene. Sure enough, it looks like I got an eggroll! I check the receipt: chicken strips (check), meatball sub (check), cheese stick...cheese stick? Cheese STICK?? I ordered cheesecake!!!!!!! But sure enough, I guess they heard me wrong and instead of sending me one piece of cheesecake, they sent me one, count it, ONE cheese stick. Granted, it was the largest cheese stick I had ever seen, hence the eggroll confusion, but MAN, was I disappointed. Cory, however thought it was quite funny. But really, who sends someone ONE cheese stick?
2. I signed up to take an online class this semester through Oakton Community College. The whole process was so laid back and easy, that I failed to see some fine (nonexistent) print giving some due date for my payment. So when I went to pay yesterday, which was the first day of classes, I found out that I had been dropped from my class! And! AND....Now the class is full! Oh, ho ho ho ho! I haven't even cracked a book and already the fun has begun.
3. This afternoon I was hurrying to get to a focus group downtown. I drove straight from work and instead of parking at home and walking 15 minutes to the train, I drove to the street across from the train and parked there. I paralled in a tight space on a semi snow mound and realized that I was up a bit on all this snow! I got out of my car and checked out the situation real quick and..well, the "snow mound" was more like "the curb." Okay, it was the curb. But there was no, "hitting of the curb" action or anything, there was just so much snow!. Anyway, I was running late and didn't have time to repark so... I just made a dash for the train.
Fast forward to 4 hours later, Cory and I are getting off the train and he's commenting on how cold it is and I say, Surprise! The car is right here! We can drive home! He's all excited until he sees my fabulous parking job, then he is in absolute shock! He said, and I quote, That is the worst parking job I have ever seen in my life. Ever. No exaggeration. So, both my right wheels were on the curb? So? Things happen. I blew it off, but he's still harassing me about it. Whatever.
posted by katy @ 10:09 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Greetings from the Chicago Police Department:
Thanks for your blog. The boys here at the station are your biggest fans. There are times we think we might enjoy your blog even more than our hourly trips to Krispy Kreme.
We read your parking story with great interest. Tell your husband to keep quiet. He simply doesn't know what he's saying.
From reading your amusingly thorough account, it sounds like you are in violation of public safety code R-18472. We're not sure you're aware of the public safety issues connected to your offense. But let's not lecture you on that. Because we don't care about it either. Here at the Chicago Police Department, everybody knows that the populace can take care of themselves. As I'm sure you've come to learn in your first year in our wonderful city, it's the revenue from fines that we care about most.
Based on your public admission of guilt, the judge has entered a summary judgment against you in the amount of $85. (The fine is usually $50, but we figure that anyone with the whit and wherewithal to have their own website must surely have some extra cash to spare.)
There is still the matter of your husband's action. Sadly, we don't have a law against being an insensitive moron -- at least not yet. But once we get around to -- and we will, 'cause the mayor has a whole legion of folks who do nothing all day but figure out how to get you to pay for more parks and flower pots -- I must inform you that your husband will probably not be anywhere near the top of our list of biggest offenders. And that's just as well, cause everyone knows he'll just use the "unconditional love" defense. And despite the relative few who can successfully claim that defense, our assessment is that your husband is probably one of them.
Despite his indiscretion, we would like to reward your husband for his strong sense of civic duty. Barney Fife would be proud. Along with your ticket, we'll be sending your husband a "get out of jail free" pass. These are very hard to come-by. It's usually only the Mayor who hands them out, and even then we all keep it pretty hush. At any rate, your husband will have one available when he next needs it -- either following a round of late night debauchery, or simply for a place to sleep on those nights when you kick him out of the house; which it sounds like you might be justified in doing on occasion.
Take care. And keep up the good work -- we could really use the money.
Yours Truly,
Your friends at the Chicago Police Department.
My "parking on the curb" ticket fee is in the mail. I hope you all accept monopoly money.
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