"I'ma Hustler"

So I'm in class alone with Mr. I (one of my kids who just turned 4, is African American, and usually spends his time driving me crazy)- he had just been brought in to me by another teacher because he peed on himself...again. Of course. So after I cleaned him up I was getting ready to take him back outside and I hear him singing or rather rapping to himself, "I'm a hustler I'm a I'm a hustler." I gave him a puzzled look and said, "I'm sorry, you're a what?" So he rapped it again, "I'm a hustler I'm a I'm a hustler." I sighed because things like this always make me sigh and then...I said. "No, you are not a hustler." Which was the wroooong thing to say because he then screeeeeeeeeeeeamed at the top of his lungs to me, "YEEEEES I AM A HUSTLER!" Not in the mood to be screamed at again and needing to get back outside I simply replied, "Fine! You're a hustler, now let's go."

It's almost Friday! Kinda..

I had to give my modem some spanks today. He was behaving very badly by not letting me online for the past few days. Tonight he's making me dinner.

So I went to Borders on Monday- David Sedaris, who is a favorite author of mine, was signing copies of his new book. I got one signed for me and one for my brother and I have to say...David Sedaris is one of the nicest guys! He was so friendly and talkative and funny which made standing in line for an hour and a half worthwhile. Unlike when I went to Borders to get a book signed by Billy Corgan, and he had his whole entourage there, and you couldn't hand him his book directly, and he wouldn't personalize it, he would JUST sign his name, and you had about 3 seconds if you wanted to say something. Most people just mumbled a quick thank you.

But with Sedaris, he drew funny pictures in people's books and had different funny stamps, and he asked people questions and was just so personable. When I told him the 2nd book was for my brother he asked me, "Why didn't he make it out today?" I told him he lived in Tennessee to which he replied, "Oh I was just there in April...in Knoxville." So I told him that Knoxville is where my brother is, in fact my whole family, and we chatted about how beautiful TN is and so on. When I got outside, I looked to see what he wrote in our books. In mine, he wrote To Katy Love David Sedaris. Then underneath that was a funny smileyface picture. In my brother's book, he wrote, To Brian. I am so angry I missed you! David Sedaris. Very funny.

The best thing was that he recommended a book for me to read. A book! For me! They didn't have it at Borders, But I'm going to get it this week. All weekend I've been obnoxious saying things like, Well, I need to go get that book David insisted I read! You know, as if he and I were old chums. Which we are. In my head.

Last thing. A woman in line in front of me, about 60, had the essence of a feminist, had her book made out to "Exalted One." I am not kidding. Not sure what that was about, nor do I want to know. "Katy" worked just fine for me.

Saturday, I called my sister to wish her a happy 15th birthday only to find out that my great grandmother, "Grammy," had passed away earlier that morning. Not the news I had been expecting or wanting to hear.

An hour after that phone call I was headed to the train and stopped by a neighbor informing me that the trains weren't running- which didn't make any sense because the trains are always running. He said there had been some sort of accident he guessed at the train stop north of us- He had seen a bunch of ambulances go by. Turns out that a man had recently jumped in front of an oncoming South bound train, killing himself. I couldn't believe it. I mean you hear about these things but THIS... it had JUST HAPPENED. I kept thinking, 20 minutes ago this man was still alive, just 20 minutes ago.

With the trains down, Cory and I jumped into a cab and I told the driver that the trains were down because someone had jumped. He looked absolutely shocked and then told us a story of when he was driving some 25 years ago and got stuck in traffic due to a man at the top of a building threatening to jump. The police had piled mattresses at the base of the building in case he did jump, hoping they would break the fall, while trying to talk this guy down. The guy kept saying that if anyone got too close, he would jump. Sure enough, a cop tried to move in on him and the guy jumped. My cabbie said that he saw it- watched him jump- but then turned away at the last minute. Later that night on the news he learned that the man had missed the mattresses by a foot.

Death is so weird- so sudden. So surreal. I mean, for my Grammy, I can be happy. She was 98 years old, her husband had been dead for almost 20 years, she was sick, she died peacefully and now she's in a better place. Then there's the man who jumped in front of the train- young with his whole life ahead of him, but obviously depressed and feeling like death was his last option. That's not a good end.

Sorry, I'm a bit pensive today. Maybe I'll go take a walk.

Cory just walked in and told me he just read that two people were killed by a bear while they were sleeping in Alaska! Two experienced campers, who had all their food in airtight, bear-proof containers, and they even had a firearm to use in case of an emergency- which they obviously didn't get to use. Scary. Like the girl who got killed by the shark over the weekend in Florida in the exact place my family goes every year.

Why can't the news cover good happy things?

Class of ' 94!

I recently- as in yesterday- got back in touch with a good friend from highschool which made me a bit nostalgic for the days of olde. So I dragged out the ole' senior year scrapbook I made and thought I'd post a few pics for fun. And just for the record, vests were COOL back then.

So FYI: Pic 1 is a shot from a play I was in. Pic 2 is a shot from my first day of school my senior year in my awesome (shut it!) vest. And pic 3 is from prom and I somehow got nominated for the prom court, although I didn't win.

Rabbit Fighter

So I have a new obsession at the moment. A song. I can't. Stop. Listening to it. I just can't! It's in my CD player in my car and I just keep hitting repeat. And every time I do I think to myself, just this last time. Then it turns into 10 times and then I'm at work. I'm hooked! I can't control my finger, it just keeps replaying the song which by the way is called Fell by the band Rabbit Fighter that I saw the other night at The House Of Blues. And. I. Love it! I really love all the other songs too but this one has that haunting quality like the song Helena by My Chemical Romance. Anyway, check out their website and you can hear a clip of the song.

www.rabbitfightermusic.com

So I was eating some cheetos last night and the phrase "Naturally Baked" on the package caught my eye. What does that mean??? Naturally baked. Do they lay gallons of cheetos in a garden on a roof and let the sunshine work it's magic? Do they have farmers bake them in specialized organic and healthy ovens? How can baking be natural? And is that versus UNnaturally? God, what would that entail? Would my poor cheetos find themselves spread out on the streets of the black market, getting flipped in the sun every hour by drug dealers or small Asian kids working for pennies?

I just don't get why they felt the need to put in the word naturally. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, they're baked!!! I get it already!

My sweet, sweet Pumpkins

Unbelievable. In today's Trib, there is a FULL PAGE that is"A message to Chicago from Billy Corgan." And it contains, I might add, some of the most exciting news to date! And I quote, 'For a year now I have walked around with a secret, a secret I chose to keep. But now I want you to be among the first to know that I have made plans to renew and revive the Smashing Pumpkins. I want my band back, and my songs, and my dreams."

I can't even believe it. The whole letter takes up 1/2 a page and his picture takes up the other half. Who else would use a whole page in the paper to tell Chicago a message? For all you pumpkins fans out there, my self greatly included, this is just the best news I could hear! He even signed the letter with the infamous Smashing pumpkins SP heart symbol.

Billy rocks!

This is the face of boredom...

I have nothing to say today except that I wish I could call in sick to work. And now, I am going to go test out my new rollerskates outside. I tried them inside and my hardwood floors are so slick I almost fell and broke my neck three times during the 2 minutes I skated around.

Here's to not tripping and falling down RIGHT when somebody walks by me.

I guess it could be worse...

I just talked to my sister and she told me that her friend has scabies- which makes my ring worm sound a whooooole lot better.

Happy friday!

-listening to Wicked Game by Chris Issac...Man, I love this song.

Ahhh, he always makes me laugh...

(from Jerry Seinfled's book, SeinLanguage)

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."

Man, ain't it the truth...

Just for Kicks

Me in my last year of preschool- age 5

3 cheers for ring worm!

You know, when I got ring worm from the kids at school a month or two ago, I thought, Well it's gross and it's itchy and this is the worst job perk ever...but at least I can check it off my list of "Gifts from the kids" and be done with it. (Yeah, you know where this is going...) I have it- again. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? The colds I can handle, getting the flu, I can handle, coughs, no problem, fevers, I'm queen of fevers...but RING WORM?? TWICE??? Eccccchhh. Somebody shoot me.

At the snack table yesterday, Jamie (an almost four-year-old darling who also has ringworm- again) asked the kids around the table, "Does anyone want to see my owie?" She then proceeded to take off her band-aid which covered her vary contagious ring worm. "No nonononononono, let's keep that band-aid on, okaaaaay?" She agreed to my request, but wanted to make sure the class knew what her owie was, so she said (loudly and proudly), "It's RING WORM!" Then she put her hands in the air and started chanting like a baseball fan, "Ring worm! Ring worm! Ring worm!"

didn't even know HOW to respond to THAT!

Man, being a preschool teacher is so gross.

I'm going to A Roller Derby tonight!!! And the funny thing is, all of my friends are busy so I am going alone. (I have 2 friends that are actually in the derby , so I can't miss it.) Should be an interesting night to say the least...

Secrets Revealed

I have just come across a blog of secret confessions. People from all over mail in handmade postcards revealing thier secrets, and this guy posts them. Some are funny, some are terribly sad, but all are completely fascinating. A site definitely worth checking out. He posts new postcards every Sunday. http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

And in the spirit of secret confessions, feel free to anonymously post a secret of your own this weekend on my blog. I'll even anonymously post one later on. Ooo, this is exciting!

-listening to A Mistake by Fiona Apple

Thank God it's almost Friday

Yesterday at work, about 5 minutes after taking the kids out to the playground, I was in the middle of keeping two kids from throwing sand on each other (again) when I looked up to find Mr. D, one of my 4-year-old precious tyrants, standing on top of the play equipment with his pants hanging at his ankles. I actually did a double-take thinking, Surely I must not be seeing what I'm seeing. But there he was, with his little black weinus hanging out for all the kids to see, just laughing this loud (somewhat evil) laugh, like he was king of the mini weinus world.

So I left the sand-throwing kids to fend for themselves and with a "Do I LOOK happy?-face" I headed over to him. Once he saw that I was on my way, he just laughed more. I took a hold of his arm, so he wouldn't run away (because that's all I needed) and asked him what he was doing. His reply: more evil laughter. So I pulled up his pants for him since he refused to do it and off he ran.

Just how I love starting off my afternoons...

The jokester AKA my computer

My loving and faithful computer decided not to let me online again last night or this morning. I think it sleeps in or something. ANYway, hopefully this joking will stop so I can get back to my normal online life again.

So it's Wednesday. Cory's big b-day! And can I just say for the record that it is WAAAAAAAAAY too hot outside. Way. It is unacceptable. We went to the Cubs game last night (with the best seats we'll ever have) and by the time we left, I was so sweaty. I feel like I end up showering 3 times a day now and I just don'thave that kind of time. I like showering because I choose to shower, not because I took a two minute walk to the store and came back with my shirt glued to me.

Me no likey.

-listening to Fix You by Coldplay

P.S. I ate so much blue cotton candy last night at the game that my fingers, lips and teeth all turned blue. Was I embarrassed? Not in the least.

Sunday/Monday post

The doors to cyberspace have been closed to me until just now. Whatever little joke my computer decided to pull on me is now over.

So I have returned!

And I am beat...just got back from the ghetto mat. The guy on duty (40's, grey hair, missing teeth, very friendly) helped me carry out my 50 lb bag to my car. After he put it on the front seat for me he said, "Well, after a long hot night of doing laundry, you're in need of a good joke."
(Oh really?) Actually, I wanted to say, I am in need of a good shower because it was so hot in their that sweat is dripping down my face as we speak. But...I smiled and let him tell his LONG joke which I won't bore you with, but I must mention that it took almost five minutes to tell, he acted parts of it out, and... it was about the Pope.

I think I have some sort of aura that draws these kind of people to me. About an hour prior to this, he also, for my pleasure and amusement, set some cotton wood seeds on fire that had drifted into the ghetto mat- he thought that was a pretty cook trick, because no sooner had they caught on fire, did they simply disappear! Thanks for setting things on fire INSIDE OF A BUILDING, I wanted to say, but I really just want to read my paper, please. Instead, I clapped and told him how neat it was. And it was in a way, I just don't like people setting things on fire inside-tricks or no tricks.


(sigh) It's been a long day. Is it just me?

-listening to Hedwig and the Angry Inch

My "Saturday" Post

So I had to babysit tonight for my co-teacher's 4-year-old nephew, Thomas. I just got home a little bit ago and thought I'd share a conversation we had as we were eating our dinner...

"Katy, what grade are you in?"
"Well, actually, Thomas, I'm not in a grade because I'm already finished with school. I'm all done!"
"Yeah? Me too!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, I finished."
"Hmmmmmm, well, actually, I think you finished for the summer, but then you'll go back again when summer is over."
"....Nope. I finished."
"Oh, I see....Hey Thomas, how old do you think I am?"
"Uhhh, fifty."
"Fifty?! I don't think so, try again my friend."
"I think you're fifty."
"Hmmmm...Well, how old do you think your mom is?"
"She's four."
"Four?"
"Yes."
"And how old are you again?"
"Four."
"Riiiiiiiiiiiight, so you and your mom are...the same age?"
"Yes....Oh and Duffy too."
"Okay, so you, your mom, and your friend Duffy are all four?"
"Duffy's my dog."
"Of course! So, you, your mom and your DOG are all the same age..."
"Uh-huh."
"And I'm...fifty."
"Uh-huh."
"Yeah, you are so going back to school buddy."
No response- His mouth was too full of chicken nuggets.

I'm on my way to work, and here are a few things that the kids will say to me, guaranteed. (Luckily you won't be hearing these things at work.)

1. Shut up!
2. Leave me alone!
3. I hate you!
4. I just farted.
5. Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!
6. I'm not your friend.
7. Don't touch me!
8. I just peed on myself.
9. So and so hit me.
10. So and so kicked me.
11. So and so just took my marker.
12. (singsongy) I don't know, I don't care, you took off your underwear.

What are you,...four? (I ask them) They don't get the humor.

-listening to My Chemical Romance

Confession # 32

I was watching MTV the other day while working on the computer, and this new video came on. I was more focused on my computer screen, but my mind was thinking, " What is this great song?? I've never heard it before and it's AWESOME!" So I look up at the TV and I don't recognize the band at all, but the longer the video plays, the MORE I'm liking the song. FINALLY...It hits me...Who the band is...And in shock I involuntarily whisper, "Nooooooooooooo." It couldn't be... (pregnant pause) It was the Backstreet Boys. (Guess they're back.) Man, I felt like such a dork, still do. I was totally tricked! But, I have to just lay it on the table here and admit that their new song, Incomplete, is really good. (Please, tell me I'm not alone here!...Girls?....Anyone?)

-listening to (NOT the Backstreet Boys, thank you very much, I'm not obsessed here) the Foo Fighters

P.S. For the month of June I will be blogging everyday. How about them apples!

P.S.S. I just did a spell check and it flagged the word blogging and suggested I replace it with flogging. Perfect. So for the month of June, I will now be flogging everyday.